Fight, Flight, Or Freeze

According to Clairee Belcher, "the only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize." Whatever the reason..be it our opposable thumbs, our ability to move bipedally... most of us probably do not give daily consideration to the truth that we are, in fact, animals. (Albeit the only members of the animal kingdom with the breath of God in our lungs and made in the image of God.) A commonality that ties every level of the animal kingdom together are the stress responses of fight/flight/freeze. What is our reaction to perceived danger? Do we hold our ground and prepare for battle? Do we head for the proverbial hills before things get too hot or does the threat render us unable to move, to think?

When do you fight? You can't go around setting little fires every time something upsets you. People do, but how productive is it? I know people like that...ceasingly contentious and constantly offended...and they are miserable. If you are constantly fighting, how much of an impact are you making? Having the mother/nurturer/helper personality, nothing will flip my "fight switch" faster than someone/something I love being in harm's way. It's not all hairy beast Mama Bear, snarling and fangs bared, but ignore the first attempts I make to protect what I see as mine...beast mode it is. The people pleaser part of my personality would much rather settle things without fangs and flying hair because the thought of someone being upset/offended with me is hard for me to entertain. It takes a while for me to settle with it. Turning 40, then turning 50, cured a large portion of that. Would I rather offend the bullies by speaking truth or the innocent with my silence?

When do you run? How hot does it have to get before you tap out? Do you even engage? Sometimes, the only thing you CAN do is run. This life is fraught with battles. We could list them and cross reference them six hundred ways and still not have a comprehensive accounting. A friend who is a deep well of godly wisdom recently shared that there are some fires we aren't meant to fight even if we are blaze adjacent. Walking away from the fight is often portrayed as cowardly or weak, but shouldn't we acknowledge the wisdom it takes to make that decision? Shouldn't we take into consideration the character of the person making that decision? Shouldn't we also take into account that we don't know the whole story?

When do you freeze? I've had those moments and they aren't anything close to enjoyable. Every avenue of sensory intake completely overloaded and short circuiting. Just breathing normally is overwhelming. For me, the freeze usually happens after trying to weigh every outcome of a given situation. Knowing every outcome is beyond the reckoning of my very human brain. A consequence of the want/need for control. But even if I knew every outcome, could I still make the right decision? I think the imperfection of my humanity would muddy the waters. 

I guess the key to this is understanding your absolutes. During the childrearing years, "pick your battles" was treasured wisdom. Honestly, I think that's applicable to LIFE. Knowing your limits. Upon which hills, which swords will you fall? Taking into account that every outcome is hidden from human eyes. Knowing when to speak and maybe, more importantly, when to be silent. There is time for both. Time for action? Time to be still? Both have appropriate places. 

And all the while, there is grace to cover it all.