Hello, Sweetheart!

That's how she would greet me when she called me.  There was always a breathy sort of excited edge to her greeting. It was like the sole purpose of her life, in that exact moment, was to make that phone call. She, being Mr. Snark's Aunt Julie...his mama's baby sister. Just a short time after MILove passed, Aunt Julie began to call us every so often. She'd swap out...she'd call me and then a couple of weeks later, she'd call her nephew. Our conversations seemed to keep all of us connected to the ones we missed so much...specifically MILove and Hester the Great. Aunt Julie died early Sunday (8/17) morning. We had only known for about a month that the breast cancer she so valiantly and courageously fought in 2019, had returned to her liver. When she called to tell me that the initial images showing suspicious activity had been confirmed, we spent a few moments crying together. I couldn't think of much to say to her....what DO you say? All I could think to do was to pray, so that's what I did. I prayed for God to heal her, because my selfish heart wanted to keep her with us longer...because I knew what she meant to her husband and her two grown sons. But I also prayed that God would be merciful and not let her linger in pain and suffering. In his infinite mercy, he granted that prayer and I will always be grateful. If you'll indulge me, I'd like to take the time to tell you a little about her. (Here's a sweet picture of me, MILove, and Aunt Julie in 2015.)

The first time I met Julie was the summer of 1989. I had just graduated high school and Mr. Snark was on leave from the Navy. Julie and her husband were in the trenches of parenting two very energetic little boys. We had barely walked into the house when the youngest of the two came barreling into the living room.  A headful of champagne blonde curls...you, know, that blonde women will pay for but never quite achieve...and naked from the waist down. Ah, yes, the potty training years! Julie just laughed at my startled reaction and hustled her little streaker into his room and into a pair of shorts....talking the whole time...she didn't miss a beat. In that same visit, Mr. Snark and I sat down to play Legos with her oldest son. That kid was some kind of smart! I was doing the best I could...Legos weren't really my thing. I came up with a house on a patch of green and was pretty proud of it until  this kid who was no more than five or six said, "Miss Michelle, you are clearly out of your league!" Perhaps a little foreshadowing of what was to be my future as the mother of two Lego loving boyos.

She made the trip to Michigan in 1992 for our wedding. She wore the cutest navy blue and white polka dotted outfit...complete with the most fetching hat. After the ceremony and a quick round of pictures, we did our "grand exit"...complete with bird seed for our guests to throw. One of the aunts from the other side of Mr. Snark's family tossed a whole Dixie cup of bird seed down the front of my dress. Before I realized what was happening, Aunt Julie and Hester the Great had me in the ladies' room...Hester unzipping my dress and loosening my bustier and Julie on the front side of me, trying to wipe off the bird seed with a blue Kleenex. I had come to quickly love these two, but our relationship hadn't exactly reached that level of familiarity. Picture me trying to hold on to some semblance of modesty and decorum while these two are assailing me with blue Kleenex. "Oh, honey! It's nothing we haven't seen before!" To which I replied, "Yes!!! But you haven't seen mine!"

About a month after the wedding, MILove, Aunt Julie and I drove west from Knoxville to take in a section of the Highway 127 Yard Sale. It boasts itself to be "the world's longest." We met up with their SILove who lived nearby. The day before this little boondoggle, I was required by The University of Tennessee to update my immunization records. The good folks at the "student death center" loaded up both of my arms and got me regulation approved. My left arm was not amused, at all. I made sure that my yard sale companions were fully aware of the situation. Julie didn't seem to fully understand because anytime she made physical contact with me, it was on my upper left arm. Even going out of my way to stand on the opposite side of her...to keep that very sore and aggravated portion of my body out of her reach, she seemed to out maneuver me. At some point, I had reached the end of my rope and just point blank told her that I was going to knock her head off if she didn't keep her hands off my left arm. I remember my MILove sort of inhaling sharply because it took her by surprise. I instantly regretted being so mean and was about to apologize when Aunt Julie said, "Well, honey....that's all you had to say." 

She was the third of the four that Hester and Rusty The Greats produced. A brother on either side of her and an older sister (MILove) to lead their little pack. They were a force to be reckoned with...mess with one, you have the wrath of the other three upon your head. She was intelligent, curious, so very kind, gracious, loving, gentle, and patient. She possessed a child-like wonder that was endearing. Two of my FAVORITE Julie stories come from her childhood. The first one....it's Sunday morning. The family has yet to move from Maryland to Sevier County, Tennessee. Hester the Great answers the phone...her sister-in-law, Cora was calling. Cora and her family lived just across the road. Great Aunt Cora informed Hester the Great that she had a fine lady sitting on her porch. Hester told me she was confused by Cora...and she wasn't the least bit entertained. It was Sunday morning and she's trying to get everyone ready for church. Hester went out to the porch to find young Julie...wearing a large sun hat, a pair of Hester's heels, and a long strand of pearls. Nothing more. Apparently, streaking runs in the family! Fast forward a few years...the family has relocated to Tennessee. Julie was bathing and her older brother barged in. Did PD really need the bathroom or was he just trying to aggravate Julie? Both things can be true at the same time. Julie was startled, upset, embarrassed, FURIOUS. She's desperately trying to cover herself and defend her own honor; in the process, she manages to pull the shower curtain down. That sets off a new level of wailing protests and cries of outrage...from Julie. I am told that PD laughed like it was his paying job. Big Sister Janet (General Janet as she was affectionately called) stepped in and evicted the braying PD from the bathroom and made short order of bringing Julie's hysteria to an end.

Quilting had really become her passion over the last several years. She had long been a quilting enthusiast, but once she retired, there was no stopping her. She once constructed BY HAND...WITHOUT A PATTERN a baby quilt for a friend that depicted a night scene in The Great Smoky Mountains. It was a sensory quilt before sensory items were as en vogue as they are these days. Different fabrics were chosen based on their tactile quality for the tree trunks, for their leaves, for the boulders, for the mountains, for the night sky, and for the animals. I recall raccoons, possums, and a black bear. In the sky of the quilt, she even included the constellation that was visible the night the baby was born! Did I mention, this was free hand? She made the quilt we used as decoration for MIL's casket. The quilt had been constructed during the time that MILove was in stem cell treatment for her leukemia. The evening we returned home from the three month treatment process, Aunt Julie came to the house to put her arms around her sister. They hadn't seen each other for three months and it was a sweet reunion. She surprised MILove with that quilt. One of the last quilts she completed was done as a wedding present for Boyo #1. (It's been awhile....we need to catch up. Yes, he got married! We'll discuss that another time.) She was unable to make the trip to Kentucky for the wedding but sent it along with her little brother. The newlyweds have hung their Julie quilt on a blanket ladder in their home. A place of honor and easy access because she meant for it to be used. As handy as she was with needle and thread, she was equally handy in the kitchen.  She made THE best French onion soup I have ever put in my mouth...even the bowl I ate in a Paris hotel didn't compare to Aunt Julie's. I'd gladly swim laps in the pumpkin butter that she and Uncle Joe made every fall...their BBQ sauce, too. Hallelujah, amen!  

Julie had a natural gift for encouragement. I saw her use it with her husband and her sons. Life sometimes seemed to be extra difficult for them...but they had Julie in their corner and that was a powerful thing, indeed. She built them up and provided a safe space for them to be vulnerable. She was there to cheer on MILove during the time that FILove was sick...and even more so after his passing. When I stepped into the role of caregiver for MILove during the stem cell treatment, Aunt Julie was there. She acknowledged that taking care of "one of us" was not going to be an easy task because "we are Rust." The family last name is code for independent, self sufficient, private. That role of caregiver became a bonding point for the two of us. She and Joe took in Hester the Great when it was no longer safe for her to live alone...all the while, dealing with the declining health of both of his parents. To say she loved her family is putting it mildly.

We got to see her two different times before she passed and I will cherish those moments. While she was still in the hospital, we were able to show her the sneak peek photos from the wedding. She couldn't say much, but her eyes and her face did the talking. She loved the rainbow color scheme and nodded when I mentioned thinking that Hester would have loved it. She stroked the phone screen when she saw Boyo #1's close up. Her eyes got very wide and she smiled when she saw a most stunning shot of our daughter-in-LOVE in all of her bridal glory. She was very pleased to see the picture of her quilt on the blanket ladder. Our last visit with her was Friday afternoon...at her house. She had been discharged with hospice support services. Boyo #2 sent us a video of a recent singing performance with specific instructions for us to show Aunt Julie. She was captivated. Wanted the picture expanded so she could see his face. She closed her eyes, fluttered her hands as if she was directing the music, caught her breath when he hit that "money note." Watching other people love your children is a gift.

I hope you enjoyed meeting our Julie. I wish more of you had had the honor of actually knowing her. My life is all the better for it. I can only think of one way to end this. It's the same way she ended our phone calls.  I will miss those conversations. I will miss her...I do miss her. And so...

Bye-bye, Sweetheart.