My Lists, A Lizard and (almost) The Telephone's Handset

I make lists when I plan a trip.  Do y'all?  The shorter the trip, the shorter the list.  Georgia to Michigan, for a week, is NOT a short trip.  Thusly, neither was the list.  On the other hand, the list for the return trip is pretty easy..."Remember everything you brought with you and don't forget anything you accumulated since arrival."  (Thus far, our forgotten items are one sports coat, one tie, two ornaments and a Sonic the Hedgehog ball cap.)  I thought I'd share some highlights from our Christmas road trip list.

Georgia to Michigan

• Hope for snow:  Despite the weather forecasts that said there was NO chance of snow, we held out hope for the white stuff.  Forecasts are just educated guesses, right?  Weather reporters are often wrong, aren't they?
• Rumballs:  Quite possibly THE favorite of all Christmas cookies for my Boyos Three.  The smell of a distillery fills the vehicle when the bowl is opened for the first time.  I pray when we open the bowl...that we never get pulled over and have to give account for the rum rich aroma.
• Unwrapped gifts:  Why wrap them and spend all that time on ribbons when they're just going to be packed into the blue duffle bag?

•   A lizard:  Yes, you read that correctly.  Without any knowledge or shred of intention, we brought a LIVE lizard to my mama's house!  Not a big one...one of those little brown fellows that are rather common place in our neck of the woods.  However common he may be, I prefer him and his ilk in their natural environment...NOT the blue duffle bag with my unwrapped Christmas presents!  I packed that bag, emptied it and repacked it before it got loaded in the truck.  I even added to the stash once we got to Mama's.  Never ONCE did Mr. Lizard show his little reptilian self...until he did and when he did, I froze!  There he was, peeking out of the bag and all I could do was point and whisper, "LIZARD!"  We zipped up the bag and hustled it outside...in the 40°F Michigan-in-December rain....to free the lizard.  I know what you're thinking.  40°F...reptile...it sounds like a cruel death.  Even crueler would have been death at the paws of GG....Mama's little mixed terrier.  Crueler still would be my children having to bury their mother at Christmas because she broke her silly neck trying to get away from Mr. Skink's ferocious four inch self!  I'm sure we made a riotous picture...standing in the cold, dark and wet...shaking packages and each praying that the other would have the blessing of meeting Mr. Skink face to face.  Sorry, Mama...but I was.  The little bugger was at the bottom of the bag and seemed all too happy to jump out on his own.  Alas, that happiness was short lived when he made contact with cement.  I think I saw him look back at the bag with a bit of regret.  But maybe not...I was moving pretty fast toward the safety and reptile free warmth of Mama's house. 
• Lazybones:  There developed the daily contest of who could stay in their pajamas the longest.  Mama only has one bathroom in her house, so the winner was determined by the last one to shower.  Since Y2 usually showers at night, he claimed himself to be the laziest bones of all.
• Memories of Christmases Past:  Thumbing through old photo albums, I found pictures of the gatherings we used to have on Christmas Eve.  Granny's extended family would pile in at her and Papa's house or sometimes at Aunt Jewell's house.  And when I say pile, I am not kidding!  It's amazing how many cotton pickers we could cram in four walls.  Not being unkind, we really do come from Arkansas cotton pickers.  There were pictures of Granny and Papa's tribe...some that will cause me to die a thousand deaths if they ever make it to social media viewing!  Granny and Papa have gone to glory and a large portion of their tribe no longer resides in Michigan.  I was a little wistful and found myself longing for the comforting calamity of one of those big Christmas celebrations.

What I Took From Mama's But Didn't Mean To:

• The handset to Mama's phone:  I called her to confirm my cousin's address.  We had just left the house and I wanted to make sure because our GPS listed a couple of options.  She said to me, "We can't find the handset to the phone!"  I checked my purse....and then I checked the pocket of my vest (a very stylish black one with a faux fur collar) and realized it was there.  I picked it up to call my cousin and then Mama handed me her cell so I could text my cousin.  Why I put it in my pocket, I do not know!  Better than a lizard!

The REAL Take-Away:

• Dashed hopes for snow:  Stupid weather reporters got it right!  The snow came in the day we left...just like it did the last time we went to Michigan. 
• A full heart:  Just when you think your heart can't hold any more joy or you can't laugh one more belly laugh, there's more to be held and more to be laughed!  I love being in the kitchen with Mama.  We were making enchiladas for supper and she was telling me how to roll them.  "Roll them a little tighter....like rolling a dooby...hehehehehe!"  Wha??????  Seriously, MOTHER!!!!!
• The reality of time's relentless march:  My parents are getting older and I know what often comes with the aging process.  I pray that they all enjoy their "golden years" in good health and sound minds.  I pray that they simply go to sleep and wake up in Heaven.  I don't want them to suffer with the frailties that come with old age....I don't want to see them suffer. 
• Extra inches:  Glory, hallelujah...I am ready to go on a fast!  SO not kidding!  I'm tired of chewing and crunching and noshing and munching!  We've had so much good food, so many of our favorites, I have no idea what I'm going to cook for the next month!  And I'm fairly certain that Y2 is entering a growth spurt.  He was eating everything but the wallpaper!
• Theories about the latest "Star Wars" movie:  I won't give anything away but I have to say that I thought it was a good movie.  I liked the way the new story paralleled the old ones.  Some folks have found that irritating but to me, it mirrors reality.  If we don't learn from history, if we don't learn from our mistakes, we are doomed to repeat them.  I gasped...I even teared up.  At one point, I wondered if I was going to have to separate Mr. Snark and Y2....they were trolling and it was a bit much.  They are so much a like.  I will tell you this...I have a little seven year old friend.  His mama was my first college roommate.  My little friend had never seen any of the "Star Wars" flick on the big screen, so this was big time for him.  Apparently, he'd had his fill of Kylo Ren (the bad guy) and he voiced his opposition...for all to hear..."I AM SICK OF YOUR FACE!" 

The trip home was long and tiresome.  Freezing rain that turned to just rain the further we got from Michigan.  We were glad to see the temperature rising above the freezing mark.  Travel through Cincinnati is interesting enough without adding ice to the mixture.  See if you can find any G*ogle pictures of the construction on I-75.  Navigating those lane splits...it's like riding a luge...or driving a slot car!  It rained the whole way to Knoxville.  And today, it rained the whole way to SMALLtown.  But we were blessed with travelling mercies and hearts full of love and happy memories. 

No lizards came home with us, though.