Along life's journey, each of us will have the sad misfortune of being involved in a toxic relationship. Some of us will find ourselves seemingly surrounded by them. Sometimes, these relationships come about from the choices we make. Your mama was right when she told you to be careful of the friends you make! Coming to the realization that a dysfunctional friendship must end and taking the steps (both legal and morally righteous, of course)to end it has to rate near the top of "Life's Most Painful Moments." When that relationship is bound by blood...when you start dealing with family...painful doesn't really describe the emotional agony that ensues when you finally say "ENOUGH!"
Some friends of mine have recently gone through this minefield and it was brutal. All I could do was watch. I listened, encouraged, and validated. I gave hugs. I shed tears. I wiped tears. More hugs...more tears. A shared meal or two...a ride here and there....and of course, prayers. What I couldn't do is answer the questions they kept asking and they all started with "Why?". The only answer I had seems way too simplistic...but it is the absolute truth: the world is broken...broken with sin and groaning for the relief that only Jesus can bring. How else do you explain a man grappling after and snatching the very little that his brother (as in sibling) might have? How else do you explain family taking advantage of kindness that is offered to them...when all there is to offer is that kindness? How else do you explain a relative being verbally abusive and threatening to do bodily harm over being asked not to drink the milk that was put in the refrigerator for the toddler? If that's not a shining example of broken, then I don' t know what is!
What I do know is that there comes a moment when you have to pull the plug. Life is too short and each moment too precious. This kind of emotional upheaval leeches the joy from your bones and living a life without joy in your bones is NO way to live. You don't have to stop loving, you never stop praying, but you can stop feeding the monster...stop contributing to the dizzying, never-ending destructive cycle. Grab hold of the truth that you were made in the image of Creator God Almighty...not in the image of a trash can. You are meant to be filled with God's light...His spirit...His love...not someone else's emotional hazardous waste.
Time's wasting...what are you waiting for? Time to clean it up.
Some friends of mine have recently gone through this minefield and it was brutal. All I could do was watch. I listened, encouraged, and validated. I gave hugs. I shed tears. I wiped tears. More hugs...more tears. A shared meal or two...a ride here and there....and of course, prayers. What I couldn't do is answer the questions they kept asking and they all started with "Why?". The only answer I had seems way too simplistic...but it is the absolute truth: the world is broken...broken with sin and groaning for the relief that only Jesus can bring. How else do you explain a man grappling after and snatching the very little that his brother (as in sibling) might have? How else do you explain family taking advantage of kindness that is offered to them...when all there is to offer is that kindness? How else do you explain a relative being verbally abusive and threatening to do bodily harm over being asked not to drink the milk that was put in the refrigerator for the toddler? If that's not a shining example of broken, then I don' t know what is!
What I do know is that there comes a moment when you have to pull the plug. Life is too short and each moment too precious. This kind of emotional upheaval leeches the joy from your bones and living a life without joy in your bones is NO way to live. You don't have to stop loving, you never stop praying, but you can stop feeding the monster...stop contributing to the dizzying, never-ending destructive cycle. Grab hold of the truth that you were made in the image of Creator God Almighty...not in the image of a trash can. You are meant to be filled with God's light...His spirit...His love...not someone else's emotional hazardous waste.
Time's wasting...what are you waiting for? Time to clean it up.
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