I write this with great hesitancy. Shocking, I know! Imagine, yours truly, showing restraint. Don't get used to it...this is a moment of maturity that is probably nothing more than a passing whim. Here today, gone tomorrow (or sooner)...replaced by the usual fascination with nonsense and falderal.
As parents, we try our best to do everything we can to make sure our kids have the happiest childhoods possible. It's our job. Protecting their innocence...also part of the job. Helping them understand the twists, turns and pitfalls of this life is also part of our job. Difficult to do when trying to shield them from life's harsh realities, I know. How do you protect them without smothering them? How do you equip them without overexposing them? I don't pretend to have all the answers. To be quite honest, I don't know if I have ANY answers. I think it's a life long process. I think that we owe it to our kids to treat them like the intelligent, thoughtful human beings that they are. We don't do them, or ourselves, any favors by letting them dwell in ignorance.
Ignorance ABOUNDS in this high tech society of ours. It's rather shocking, to be quite honest. Ignorance of how to carry on a proper conversation...ignorance of basic phone etiquette...ignorance of basic social etiquette (I'm talking "please", "thank you", and "excuse me")...ignorance of basic customer service...ignorance of good hygiene and grooming. Then there is the crippling ignorance of what it means to be a responsible adult. We've got six year olds who can operate the most complicated cell phones on the market...but we have fifteen year olds who don't understand the how's and why's of where babies come from...which is why we have fifteen year olds having babies! I get it...this parenting thing is HARD!!!!
Here's what I don't get. We'll load them up and take them to that megatropolis theme park in Florida before they are old enough to remember it. We'll dress them up like little dolls in extravagant outfits that cost more than our clothes and that they won't be able to wear long enough to warrant the investment. We'll pay for every lesson to suit every passing fancy but never make them follow through on their commitment. We'll gladly compromise our Christian witness at the ballpark because we just know he's the next Peyton Manning or she's the next Mia Hamm. What we won't do is have an honest conversation about something that has been going on since time began...conversations that could very well save their lives. We tell our kids that they can talk to us about everything, but when it comes to sex, all bets are off. What we really mean, is everything BUT that. You can beg to differ, but this is what choosing ignorance over information communicates. Are you still with me? Do you need the smellin' salts?
Look, I'm not talking about taking them shopping for birth control. I'm not talking about sitting them down with the coloring book version of a "how-to" manual. It's awkward and uncomfortable...trust me, I know! Remove the emotion from it...what you're left with is pure science...the basics of biology and anatomy. As Believers, wouldn't you rather your children have the Biblical perspective of sex? Or would you rather them have the Kim Kardashian version? In the words of my precious friend, KHW, do you want them listening to and heeding the advice of that person (BTW...who IS this person?????) who has decided that after Date #3, it's okay to have sex? And before you play your "my child goes to a private, Christian school" card...if you think that having them at the private, Christian school means that your kid's not going to get the school yard version of sex education, you are sadly deluded, dear friend! There's always that one kid who has the information and is more than willing to share it with his/her friends. They're kids...they talk! Let me revisit something I said a few minutes ago...honest, open, age appropriate conversations about sex could very well SAVE your child's physical life. Did you know that there are sexually transmitted diseases popping up in the public health arena...some of them once eradicated, some are new mutated strains...that the doctor's can't cure? Is sparing your ego a few minutes of awkward worth your child's life? Pregnancy, while life altering is not the worst thing that can happen.
Am I making any sense? Have you written me off as some sort of scandalous libertine? I've checked in with friends (I do have them, you know!) about this topic. I had to see if I was out in left field. "Check it before you wreck it!" And trust me, the friends I consulted would be quick to call me back to reality...they love me just that much. We agree that our kids are entitled to a childhood that is pure, innocent and filled with beauty. And not just our kids...the world's children. We also agree, however, that the harsh reality is that not every child is so blessed. Mankind's sinful nature has robbed one child too many and it grieves us, as mothers. It's on us to do everything we can to protect that innocence, without over sheltering them...without crippling them...providing them with the tools they need to function in this sin-sick world. If one of those navigational tools comes at the price of a few awkward conversations, then so be it.
Better awkward on this side, than awkward at the bedside of your teen age daughter as she delivers your first grandchild...or at the shot gun wedding of your adolescent son and his pregnant girlfriend. Better awkward than grief stricken because your child died of some superbug sexually transmitted disease that could have been prevented by an honest conversation with you. Better awkward and on point with your Christian world view than the twisted, distorted version they might get from the magazines at the check out counter!
Some of those headlines and blurbs will make you rue the day your precious darling ever learned to read!
As parents, we try our best to do everything we can to make sure our kids have the happiest childhoods possible. It's our job. Protecting their innocence...also part of the job. Helping them understand the twists, turns and pitfalls of this life is also part of our job. Difficult to do when trying to shield them from life's harsh realities, I know. How do you protect them without smothering them? How do you equip them without overexposing them? I don't pretend to have all the answers. To be quite honest, I don't know if I have ANY answers. I think it's a life long process. I think that we owe it to our kids to treat them like the intelligent, thoughtful human beings that they are. We don't do them, or ourselves, any favors by letting them dwell in ignorance.
Ignorance ABOUNDS in this high tech society of ours. It's rather shocking, to be quite honest. Ignorance of how to carry on a proper conversation...ignorance of basic phone etiquette...ignorance of basic social etiquette (I'm talking "please", "thank you", and "excuse me")...ignorance of basic customer service...ignorance of good hygiene and grooming. Then there is the crippling ignorance of what it means to be a responsible adult. We've got six year olds who can operate the most complicated cell phones on the market...but we have fifteen year olds who don't understand the how's and why's of where babies come from...which is why we have fifteen year olds having babies! I get it...this parenting thing is HARD!!!!
Here's what I don't get. We'll load them up and take them to that megatropolis theme park in Florida before they are old enough to remember it. We'll dress them up like little dolls in extravagant outfits that cost more than our clothes and that they won't be able to wear long enough to warrant the investment. We'll pay for every lesson to suit every passing fancy but never make them follow through on their commitment. We'll gladly compromise our Christian witness at the ballpark because we just know he's the next Peyton Manning or she's the next Mia Hamm. What we won't do is have an honest conversation about something that has been going on since time began...conversations that could very well save their lives. We tell our kids that they can talk to us about everything, but when it comes to sex, all bets are off. What we really mean, is everything BUT that. You can beg to differ, but this is what choosing ignorance over information communicates. Are you still with me? Do you need the smellin' salts?
Look, I'm not talking about taking them shopping for birth control. I'm not talking about sitting them down with the coloring book version of a "how-to" manual. It's awkward and uncomfortable...trust me, I know! Remove the emotion from it...what you're left with is pure science...the basics of biology and anatomy. As Believers, wouldn't you rather your children have the Biblical perspective of sex? Or would you rather them have the Kim Kardashian version? In the words of my precious friend, KHW, do you want them listening to and heeding the advice of that person (BTW...who IS this person?????) who has decided that after Date #3, it's okay to have sex? And before you play your "my child goes to a private, Christian school" card...if you think that having them at the private, Christian school means that your kid's not going to get the school yard version of sex education, you are sadly deluded, dear friend! There's always that one kid who has the information and is more than willing to share it with his/her friends. They're kids...they talk! Let me revisit something I said a few minutes ago...honest, open, age appropriate conversations about sex could very well SAVE your child's physical life. Did you know that there are sexually transmitted diseases popping up in the public health arena...some of them once eradicated, some are new mutated strains...that the doctor's can't cure? Is sparing your ego a few minutes of awkward worth your child's life? Pregnancy, while life altering is not the worst thing that can happen.
Am I making any sense? Have you written me off as some sort of scandalous libertine? I've checked in with friends (I do have them, you know!) about this topic. I had to see if I was out in left field. "Check it before you wreck it!" And trust me, the friends I consulted would be quick to call me back to reality...they love me just that much. We agree that our kids are entitled to a childhood that is pure, innocent and filled with beauty. And not just our kids...the world's children. We also agree, however, that the harsh reality is that not every child is so blessed. Mankind's sinful nature has robbed one child too many and it grieves us, as mothers. It's on us to do everything we can to protect that innocence, without over sheltering them...without crippling them...providing them with the tools they need to function in this sin-sick world. If one of those navigational tools comes at the price of a few awkward conversations, then so be it.
Better awkward on this side, than awkward at the bedside of your teen age daughter as she delivers your first grandchild...or at the shot gun wedding of your adolescent son and his pregnant girlfriend. Better awkward than grief stricken because your child died of some superbug sexually transmitted disease that could have been prevented by an honest conversation with you. Better awkward and on point with your Christian world view than the twisted, distorted version they might get from the magazines at the check out counter!
Some of those headlines and blurbs will make you rue the day your precious darling ever learned to read!
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