Isn't it around five when kids start asking the endless lists of questions....most of them starting with "why" or "how come?" Maybe three to five years...I've known some VERY precocious three year olds. I've had a lot on my mind, the last few days, and in thinking it through, I sound like a five year old. My thoughts all seem to be coming in the form of questions and I'm not sure I have the answers...if there are answers! Not the usual YBC fare, but just humor me...maybe if I get it out of my system, we can return to the usual YBC diet of silly and kooky.
Is love a thing or is it an action? Why do we get stuck on love as the result of something instead of as the catalyst? Why do we say we love (insert your favorite food here)...or we love (insert your favorite musician here)...or we love (insert your favorite vacation spot here)? Think about it....I say I love fried chicken...but can it love me back? There are so many different musicians, who move me and touch me with their artistry...but I've never met any of them...never had a face to face conversation with them...have no shared life experiences with them...don't know if they'd grab a bucket of water if I was in front of them, on fire. And as much as I have enjoyed myself on the various vacations that we've taken, there comes a point when I am ready to be at home, in my own bed, surrounded by my creature comforts. 1 Corinthians 13 tells me EVERYTHING I'll ever need to know about love...what it is, what it isn't, what it does, what it doesn't do. So why am I...are we still confused about it? Can you truly love someone and still enable their destructive, irresponsible behavior? By enabling them, aren't you contributing to the destruction? Is that REALLY love? Conversely, can you truly love someone and refuse to enable them? Can you love them enough to let them hit rock bottom...to let them clean up their own messes...to let them learn the hard way? Is it REALLY love if the only thing it is rooted in is duty and/or obligation? Can love survive if there is a lack of trust, a lack of honesty? (Do not call me and ask about my marriage...we are fine...I promise!) If it doesn't meet the standards set forth in Paul's letter to the Corinthian church, then what is it....why do we waste our time on it?
Does it make you a bad person to recognize a relationship...be it friend or family...as toxic, unfruitful, exhausting? Does it make you a bad person to decide to let that relationship go? Is it okay to grieve for what the relationship used to be and for the fact that it is no longer beneficial? Is it okay to hope for reconciliation and restoration? Is it okay to feel like your life will be simpler and easier without these relationships? Can a relationship survive without honesty and trust? Can it thrive based solely on the investment of just one participant? (Again, Mr. Snark and I are a-ok....do not worry!) Does competition have any place in a relationship? Does it matter who is prettier, who is skinnier, whose teeth are straighter? Does it matter who is more talented, who is more athletic, who is the better housekeeper? Does it matter who is taller, who is more fashionable, who is better traveled or who makes more money? Why can't we just be happy for our family and friends when good things come into their lives...by hard work or by serendipity? Is it our own insecurities? Is it our own lack of contentment? Are we really just THAT shallow? Will I ever truly understand that I cannot, nor am I responsible for other peoples' perceptions of me? I am only liable for my own actions and reactions. Does it really matter what other people think of me? Yes, I want to have a good reputation, but if someone dislikes me because I seem to be perpetually perky, is it such a big deal? I don't believe in evolution as a theory of the genesis of human kind...but there is most definitely an evolutionary process within our species...cave man to space man. When I start mulling over these questions, it makes me think we aren't that far removed from our cave-dwelling, club carrying ancestors!
I think we'd all agree with the truth that our time on Earth is short...the Bible says it is no more than a vapor and that tomorrow is not promised. So, if we truly understood the brevity of our existence, would we continue to entangle ourselves in the endeavours that do nothing but suck the joy from our bones and leave us regretting the wasted time? Are we investing ourselves, our time, our resources in the things that matter...in the lives of those around us? Are we eager to share the blessings of our lives? Do those around us see our thankfulness and our gratitude? Do they look at our lives and see that our days are marked for God's use? Does our pride make us insincere or unapproachable? No one has ever gotten to the end of his or her life and wished for more time to be self involved....so why are we?
Don't go getting your knickers in a knot when you read this. If you see yourself or a familiar situation in any of this, it is purely by coincidence. I'm not speaking of any one situation or to any one person. This is an indictment against myself before anyone else. I guess this just happens when you are as entranced by human behavior as I am. You start seeing different things and recognizing certain patterns. You see how certain traits or characteristics travel together. And then you begin to wonder if things are backward...maybe all the sane people are the ones in the loony bin!
I know reading this has been like swapping your Fr*sted Fl*kes for All-Br*n, but I don't think it hurts to do this, every once in awhile. Well, I mean...other than the strain on my brain from all the heavy lifting! We know return you to your regularly scheduled Chronicles...light and fluffy, with a heaping side of sarcasm!
Is love a thing or is it an action? Why do we get stuck on love as the result of something instead of as the catalyst? Why do we say we love (insert your favorite food here)...or we love (insert your favorite musician here)...or we love (insert your favorite vacation spot here)? Think about it....I say I love fried chicken...but can it love me back? There are so many different musicians, who move me and touch me with their artistry...but I've never met any of them...never had a face to face conversation with them...have no shared life experiences with them...don't know if they'd grab a bucket of water if I was in front of them, on fire. And as much as I have enjoyed myself on the various vacations that we've taken, there comes a point when I am ready to be at home, in my own bed, surrounded by my creature comforts. 1 Corinthians 13 tells me EVERYTHING I'll ever need to know about love...what it is, what it isn't, what it does, what it doesn't do. So why am I...are we still confused about it? Can you truly love someone and still enable their destructive, irresponsible behavior? By enabling them, aren't you contributing to the destruction? Is that REALLY love? Conversely, can you truly love someone and refuse to enable them? Can you love them enough to let them hit rock bottom...to let them clean up their own messes...to let them learn the hard way? Is it REALLY love if the only thing it is rooted in is duty and/or obligation? Can love survive if there is a lack of trust, a lack of honesty? (Do not call me and ask about my marriage...we are fine...I promise!) If it doesn't meet the standards set forth in Paul's letter to the Corinthian church, then what is it....why do we waste our time on it?
Does it make you a bad person to recognize a relationship...be it friend or family...as toxic, unfruitful, exhausting? Does it make you a bad person to decide to let that relationship go? Is it okay to grieve for what the relationship used to be and for the fact that it is no longer beneficial? Is it okay to hope for reconciliation and restoration? Is it okay to feel like your life will be simpler and easier without these relationships? Can a relationship survive without honesty and trust? Can it thrive based solely on the investment of just one participant? (Again, Mr. Snark and I are a-ok....do not worry!) Does competition have any place in a relationship? Does it matter who is prettier, who is skinnier, whose teeth are straighter? Does it matter who is more talented, who is more athletic, who is the better housekeeper? Does it matter who is taller, who is more fashionable, who is better traveled or who makes more money? Why can't we just be happy for our family and friends when good things come into their lives...by hard work or by serendipity? Is it our own insecurities? Is it our own lack of contentment? Are we really just THAT shallow? Will I ever truly understand that I cannot, nor am I responsible for other peoples' perceptions of me? I am only liable for my own actions and reactions. Does it really matter what other people think of me? Yes, I want to have a good reputation, but if someone dislikes me because I seem to be perpetually perky, is it such a big deal? I don't believe in evolution as a theory of the genesis of human kind...but there is most definitely an evolutionary process within our species...cave man to space man. When I start mulling over these questions, it makes me think we aren't that far removed from our cave-dwelling, club carrying ancestors!
I think we'd all agree with the truth that our time on Earth is short...the Bible says it is no more than a vapor and that tomorrow is not promised. So, if we truly understood the brevity of our existence, would we continue to entangle ourselves in the endeavours that do nothing but suck the joy from our bones and leave us regretting the wasted time? Are we investing ourselves, our time, our resources in the things that matter...in the lives of those around us? Are we eager to share the blessings of our lives? Do those around us see our thankfulness and our gratitude? Do they look at our lives and see that our days are marked for God's use? Does our pride make us insincere or unapproachable? No one has ever gotten to the end of his or her life and wished for more time to be self involved....so why are we?
Don't go getting your knickers in a knot when you read this. If you see yourself or a familiar situation in any of this, it is purely by coincidence. I'm not speaking of any one situation or to any one person. This is an indictment against myself before anyone else. I guess this just happens when you are as entranced by human behavior as I am. You start seeing different things and recognizing certain patterns. You see how certain traits or characteristics travel together. And then you begin to wonder if things are backward...maybe all the sane people are the ones in the loony bin!
I know reading this has been like swapping your Fr*sted Fl*kes for All-Br*n, but I don't think it hurts to do this, every once in awhile. Well, I mean...other than the strain on my brain from all the heavy lifting! We know return you to your regularly scheduled Chronicles...light and fluffy, with a heaping side of sarcasm!
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