Yes, Ma'am

"Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it."  Look it up.... Proverbs 22:6.  I've recited this umpteen zillion (translation= A LOT)times, since becoming a parent for the first time fourteen years ago.  Usually, in moments of stress and utter loss.  By utter loss, I mean those moments when I've been left completely befuddled by my children.  Maybe I've had to repeat the same instruction for the twenty-third time in the space of twenty-three minutes.  Maybe I've had to levy punishment, AGAIN, for a nagging and repetitious infraction.  Sometimes, I've been SO angry that I've had to whisper, "I DO love you!" through clenched teeth and walk away for fear of one of us getting hurt.  Sometimes, it's choked out between sobs because I'm terrified they aren't going to grow into good, Godly men and have to spend much of their young adult lives in therapy! 

Then, there are those breakthrough moments...you know, like determined rays of sunshine breaking through the clouds after a storm...when I realize that my fears of their maladjusted futures are nearly unwarranted.  It's such a blessing to hear compliments about our kids.  It's not an ego trip...it's really like a gut check..."Whew!  Maybe we're not bad parents, after all!"  It's encouraging and it does make me proud.  As much as I like hearing these kind of affirmations from other adults, my favorite check points are the ones we get from the kids.  Our boys have been raised to say, "Yes/No, Ma'am/Sir."  It's a Southern thing.  I wasn't raised to say that, but responding to an adult with "Huh?" was out of the question.  It started when they were very little...the first approximations were "Yeah, man" or "Y'sam."  Didn't matter...they were making the effort and after awhile, it was just second nature.  Even when we visit with my family Up North...not something the children up there are raised with or the adults are used to hearing...but The Boyos are expected to remember their hometraining.  I can't give you one answer as to why we taught The Boyos to respond in this way.  We live in WayDownSouth and it's what we do....it's tradition...it's expected...you stick out like a sore thumb if you don't.   I just love the way it sounds, especially coming from a little one's mouth; it just melts my heart!  I love the way it sounds from a wizened older gentleman as he goes about his daily affairs.  It's just nice.  Is it okay to still do what some consider to be old fashioned just because it's nice?  It's not a way for me to assert my dominance or authority over my children (I have other means to that end); it's simply a way for them to demonstrate courtesy and respect. 

How do I know it's working?  All of that to get to this....even in his text conversations with me, Y1 will respond with "Yes/No, Ma'am."  And may I just say, it tickles me to no end.  He has heard what we've said (it's been repeated enough).  He's applied what he's learned.  He's getting it and if he's got it, it will always be there.  It may get buried under the surface, but it will still be there.  No matter where his life takes him...no matter where Y2's life takes them, they will ALWAYS have that.

And if they do end up on the therapist's couch, it won't be for my lack of trying!  I have witnesses, too!

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