Well, today marks four years since you were promoted to Glory! Mr. Snark mentioned that, last night, as he and I were lingering over supper. By the way, I think you would have liked that supper...a FINE pot of red beans and rice, fresh fried okra, cornbread baked in Grandmama Morris' cast iron skillet and a plateful of sliced tomatoes. I miss you all the time, but I seem to think of you, most often, at supper. We had some lively conversations around the table, didn't we? Anyway, that Boy of yours, mentioned that it had been four years and the waterworks started. I've been watching the calendar, since July became August. No way to avoid the day, but maybe hoping to avoid having to remember; like I could ever forget. Four years...I remember thinking we'd never get through those first days without you. God's grace is truly amazing because those first days turned into weeks, into months and now here we are.
I wish you could see your grandboyos! I promise you that Y1's legs are going to be as long as yours were! He has your fingers...long and streamlined. He has your blue eyes and that same mischievous snap. Sometimes, I can't help but call him by your name! He's turning into a bit of an athletic beast. He's eating us out of house and home! You'll love this...he is his father's son, who was HIS father's son....Y1 went on a mission trip to Kentucky and came home with the phone numbers of two girls he met while on this mission trip! We are often told that he is turning into a fine young man...a man of integrity and compassion. We like hearing this!! This is what we want for him but sometimes, it is hard to see these lovely things blooming in him because we are fighting against the "powers that be" so he CAN bloom. We let you go four years ago and in four years, we will be letting him go to find his place in this world.
Y2...he will give you flashbacks of your own brown-eyed boy! He does that to Meemaw. This summer, she looked right at him and called him by Mr. Snark's name! That makes me LAUGH! Now, I never met your baby brother. I don't believe in reincarnation. However, I am here to tell you that Y2 has your baby brother's spirit! I promise you he does! He's a puzzle, wrapped in an enigma, tied with a riddle. He's like no one I've ever met and I think that's what I love most about him! I call him "my beautiful weirdo." He LOVES the "Baby Snakes" song...that should come as NO surprise. He still tries to make up his own jokes. They aren't always funny, but you have to give the kid credit for trying to be original. He's so bright! I feel ill equipped to be his mother, some days. I know that God gives us everything we need for every challenge put before us...the challenge of your youngest grandson keeps me constantly digging in my tool bag.
You'd be awfully proud of your bride. She's LIVING her life. Nothing will ever fill the void you left behind, but she's not sitting around in her Widow's Weeds, with the clocks and mirrors still covered. They've got her singing at church, every time they can get her to the mic...she even fills in as Sunday school teacher, now and then! She comes to see us as often as she can and as is tradition, she always comes bearing gifts....orange gifts, which are much appreciated in this part of the world! She's as beautiful as she ever was...nothing will ever change that. I have more grey hairs than she does!
Mr. Snark and I just marked our 20th wedding anniversary. That was such a happy day! I think of that one picture...well, I think there were several of them...you looked so proud...button popping proud! I remember that same look on your face when you and Meemaw got to the hospital after Y1 was born. My word...your cheeks had to have hurt when you went to bed that night...such a big perma-grin on your face! A quieter smile when you finally got to hold Y2...in the NICU nursing room. That was one more week, wasn't it?!
This could go on for hours...me rehashing memories, pretending that you can hear them...maybe you can. I don't know. I like to think that y'all get a heads up when those of down here are missing you, something fierce. Maybe there are moments that you get to see...maybe a window pops up, with your name on it and you get to open it and look down on some of the special things. Birthdays, graduations, weddings....I don't know. Seems like all of that would take time away from what I know to be our first priority when we get to Heaven...singing praises to Jesus...I don't know. So, going on what I don't know...tell both sets of my Grandfolks that I miss them. Tell your Mama and Daddy and Baby Brother that I'm sorry I never got to meet them but that I see them in my Boyos. AND...I tell Him everyday, but since you're there...tell God the Father that many of us are ready to hear that trumpet sound!
I'll always love you..
Punkin
I wish you could see your grandboyos! I promise you that Y1's legs are going to be as long as yours were! He has your fingers...long and streamlined. He has your blue eyes and that same mischievous snap. Sometimes, I can't help but call him by your name! He's turning into a bit of an athletic beast. He's eating us out of house and home! You'll love this...he is his father's son, who was HIS father's son....Y1 went on a mission trip to Kentucky and came home with the phone numbers of two girls he met while on this mission trip! We are often told that he is turning into a fine young man...a man of integrity and compassion. We like hearing this!! This is what we want for him but sometimes, it is hard to see these lovely things blooming in him because we are fighting against the "powers that be" so he CAN bloom. We let you go four years ago and in four years, we will be letting him go to find his place in this world.
Y2...he will give you flashbacks of your own brown-eyed boy! He does that to Meemaw. This summer, she looked right at him and called him by Mr. Snark's name! That makes me LAUGH! Now, I never met your baby brother. I don't believe in reincarnation. However, I am here to tell you that Y2 has your baby brother's spirit! I promise you he does! He's a puzzle, wrapped in an enigma, tied with a riddle. He's like no one I've ever met and I think that's what I love most about him! I call him "my beautiful weirdo." He LOVES the "Baby Snakes" song...that should come as NO surprise. He still tries to make up his own jokes. They aren't always funny, but you have to give the kid credit for trying to be original. He's so bright! I feel ill equipped to be his mother, some days. I know that God gives us everything we need for every challenge put before us...the challenge of your youngest grandson keeps me constantly digging in my tool bag.
You'd be awfully proud of your bride. She's LIVING her life. Nothing will ever fill the void you left behind, but she's not sitting around in her Widow's Weeds, with the clocks and mirrors still covered. They've got her singing at church, every time they can get her to the mic...she even fills in as Sunday school teacher, now and then! She comes to see us as often as she can and as is tradition, she always comes bearing gifts....orange gifts, which are much appreciated in this part of the world! She's as beautiful as she ever was...nothing will ever change that. I have more grey hairs than she does!
Mr. Snark and I just marked our 20th wedding anniversary. That was such a happy day! I think of that one picture...well, I think there were several of them...you looked so proud...button popping proud! I remember that same look on your face when you and Meemaw got to the hospital after Y1 was born. My word...your cheeks had to have hurt when you went to bed that night...such a big perma-grin on your face! A quieter smile when you finally got to hold Y2...in the NICU nursing room. That was one more week, wasn't it?!
This could go on for hours...me rehashing memories, pretending that you can hear them...maybe you can. I don't know. I like to think that y'all get a heads up when those of down here are missing you, something fierce. Maybe there are moments that you get to see...maybe a window pops up, with your name on it and you get to open it and look down on some of the special things. Birthdays, graduations, weddings....I don't know. Seems like all of that would take time away from what I know to be our first priority when we get to Heaven...singing praises to Jesus...I don't know. So, going on what I don't know...tell both sets of my Grandfolks that I miss them. Tell your Mama and Daddy and Baby Brother that I'm sorry I never got to meet them but that I see them in my Boyos. AND...I tell Him everyday, but since you're there...tell God the Father that many of us are ready to hear that trumpet sound!
I'll always love you..
Punkin
So sweet, Michelle. Guess that means it was four years ago we 'reconnected'. I really enjoy reading your posts and the little glimpse it gives me into life in the South. You have always been one special lady. What an honor to father-in-law. You all are truly blessed.
ReplyDeleteMichelle, so glad I stopped long enough to read your thoughts in memory of Phil. I enjoyed rememberin' him as I read. You are a gifted writer, my sister! Keep it up!
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