A drive-by lecture. That's what I'm calling it. Ever had one? Know what they are? A drive-by lecture is what happens when another driver pulls up along side you and proceeds to give you the business...bless you out...read you the riot act...give you what for...give you a piece of his/her mind. So, now that you know what it is...have you ever had one? I hadn't....until Friday and I'm here to tell you, it was a truly one of the weirdest things that has ever happened to me.
So, here's how things went down...I was coming home from the church last Friday afternoon. Fridays are my days to help our Youth Pastor with projects, paper work...etc. I drive this particular route SEVERAL times during the week. I could almost drive it with my eyes closed...almost. Good thing that my eyes were WIDE open on Friday because when I came down the hill, approaching the intersection at DB Blvd and Schoolhouse Hwy (not it's real name, but there are seven different schools along this road...no joke!), there was a car...in my lane...facing me...using my lane as a left turn lane...which it is not. Well it is...for cars approaching that intersection from my direction. Cars from her direction have to wait and turn from the regular lane. I saw her in enough time to stop...avoiding the head-on collision. Swerving wasn't an option as there was traffic on either side of me. She was rather perturbed by my flailing arms...international signals for "WHAT ARE YOU DOING, CRAZY WOMAN? THAT'S NOT A LEFT TURN LANE!!!!" The vehicle behind me has a horn honker driving it...Mr. Honky Horn was having a fit behind me. I assumed that he was a flabbergasted by this lady's driving as I was. She made her turn and I pulled forward toward the light.
At the light, I realized that Mr. Honk Horn had pulled up next to me and rolled down his window. I thought, "Oh...how nice. He wants to make sure I'm ok and not rattled by that crazy lady." Uh....not so much. Enter the drive-by lecture. He wasn't bombastic or beligerant. He wasn't vulgar or furious. I wish he had been. Those would have been honest displays of emotion and I can deal with that. No...instead, he spoke in an uber-calm voice and was polite to the point of being insincere and condescending. It was the kind of voice and demeanor that made me wonder if he was the kind of man who DV-Rs Dr. Phil and Oprah!
"Excuse me. If it were just me, that would be one thing but by stopping in the middle of the road the way you did, you put my two small children in unecessary danger."
"Sir, there was a woman in my lane...facing me...using MY lane as a left turn lane...it is NOT a left turn lane. Would you rather I have hit her? I stopped to avoid the head on collision."
"Yes ma'am, but you didn't have to stay there. There was no traffic behind her. You could have gone around her. You put my children in harm's way and I don't appreciate that."
"Sir, there was traffic coming from her direction using their appropriate lane and there was traffic from our direction...should I have swerved and hit one of them? I stopped to avoid hitting her...the woman who was sitting in my lane...the lane that is NOT a left turn lane."
"Well...thank you. I understand."
Somehow, I don't think he did! And then the nimrod pulled across my nose, from the right, to cut me off and make the left turn! I guess he saw the stunned and stupified (As in stupor...not stupid...although, there seemed to be PLENTY of stupid going around!) look on my face and figured he had time to do so. I almost wish I'd been quicker on my reflexes....dealing with stupid people tends to numb my senses...and been able to block him out...of course then I probably would have hit him and that would have been FUN! NOT! But how would you justify cutting someone off to make the left hand turn, bascially from the right hand lane???
My hands shook the rest of the way home. All of three miles. A weird emotional soup takes place in my body under such conditions. Shock, anger, disbelief....all fueled by adrenaline. I did the right thing, the safe thing, the responsible thing and I'm the one who gets lectured. Seriously?
I have a feeling that the Iphone I saw firmly clutched in his left hand had more to do with "putting his two small children in harm's way" than me safely avoiding a very bad wreck. He was probably busy yakking and not paying attention as he flew down that hill and when he looked up, he had to stop short...he had to end his phone call. His inconvenience was the bigger issue. I'd never wish ill on a person...never. To wish ill on this fellow would be a waste of time, anyway. His behavior and habits will be his own undoing...he will have an accident and I pray that his babies aren't with him...that he or anyone else isn't hurt.
Sad that he felt it necessary to give me a piece of his mind. I'm thinking he needs every bit of it....especially the part that would help him understand that I had made the best decision....and that he should HANG UP and DRIVE!
So, here's how things went down...I was coming home from the church last Friday afternoon. Fridays are my days to help our Youth Pastor with projects, paper work...etc. I drive this particular route SEVERAL times during the week. I could almost drive it with my eyes closed...almost. Good thing that my eyes were WIDE open on Friday because when I came down the hill, approaching the intersection at DB Blvd and Schoolhouse Hwy (not it's real name, but there are seven different schools along this road...no joke!), there was a car...in my lane...facing me...using my lane as a left turn lane...which it is not. Well it is...for cars approaching that intersection from my direction. Cars from her direction have to wait and turn from the regular lane. I saw her in enough time to stop...avoiding the head-on collision. Swerving wasn't an option as there was traffic on either side of me. She was rather perturbed by my flailing arms...international signals for "WHAT ARE YOU DOING, CRAZY WOMAN? THAT'S NOT A LEFT TURN LANE!!!!" The vehicle behind me has a horn honker driving it...Mr. Honky Horn was having a fit behind me. I assumed that he was a flabbergasted by this lady's driving as I was. She made her turn and I pulled forward toward the light.
At the light, I realized that Mr. Honk Horn had pulled up next to me and rolled down his window. I thought, "Oh...how nice. He wants to make sure I'm ok and not rattled by that crazy lady." Uh....not so much. Enter the drive-by lecture. He wasn't bombastic or beligerant. He wasn't vulgar or furious. I wish he had been. Those would have been honest displays of emotion and I can deal with that. No...instead, he spoke in an uber-calm voice and was polite to the point of being insincere and condescending. It was the kind of voice and demeanor that made me wonder if he was the kind of man who DV-Rs Dr. Phil and Oprah!
"Excuse me. If it were just me, that would be one thing but by stopping in the middle of the road the way you did, you put my two small children in unecessary danger."
"Sir, there was a woman in my lane...facing me...using MY lane as a left turn lane...it is NOT a left turn lane. Would you rather I have hit her? I stopped to avoid the head on collision."
"Yes ma'am, but you didn't have to stay there. There was no traffic behind her. You could have gone around her. You put my children in harm's way and I don't appreciate that."
"Sir, there was traffic coming from her direction using their appropriate lane and there was traffic from our direction...should I have swerved and hit one of them? I stopped to avoid hitting her...the woman who was sitting in my lane...the lane that is NOT a left turn lane."
"Well...thank you. I understand."
Somehow, I don't think he did! And then the nimrod pulled across my nose, from the right, to cut me off and make the left turn! I guess he saw the stunned and stupified (As in stupor...not stupid...although, there seemed to be PLENTY of stupid going around!) look on my face and figured he had time to do so. I almost wish I'd been quicker on my reflexes....dealing with stupid people tends to numb my senses...and been able to block him out...of course then I probably would have hit him and that would have been FUN! NOT! But how would you justify cutting someone off to make the left hand turn, bascially from the right hand lane???
My hands shook the rest of the way home. All of three miles. A weird emotional soup takes place in my body under such conditions. Shock, anger, disbelief....all fueled by adrenaline. I did the right thing, the safe thing, the responsible thing and I'm the one who gets lectured. Seriously?
I have a feeling that the Iphone I saw firmly clutched in his left hand had more to do with "putting his two small children in harm's way" than me safely avoiding a very bad wreck. He was probably busy yakking and not paying attention as he flew down that hill and when he looked up, he had to stop short...he had to end his phone call. His inconvenience was the bigger issue. I'd never wish ill on a person...never. To wish ill on this fellow would be a waste of time, anyway. His behavior and habits will be his own undoing...he will have an accident and I pray that his babies aren't with him...that he or anyone else isn't hurt.
Sad that he felt it necessary to give me a piece of his mind. I'm thinking he needs every bit of it....especially the part that would help him understand that I had made the best decision....and that he should HANG UP and DRIVE!
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