Colby

Her name is Colby.  Or that's what she told me....after I asked three or four times.  She called YOHOS (Ye Olde House of Snark), the other day, looking to speak to Y1.  I've come up with a few things I'd like to share with you, inspired by my interaction with Miss Colby.

• When you call our home, please identify yourself without being asked.  Something like "Hello...my name is Colby.  I'm a friend of Y1's from school."
• If identifying yourself unsolicited is more than you can manage, do not make me ask for your name more than once.
• My son does not have his own cellphone.  To talk to him, you have to call the house.  When you call the house, you're more than likely going to have to go through me or his daddy.  Heaven help you if you get Y1's little brother...just sayin'.
• Most importantly, DO NOT hang up on me...or Mr. Snark.  Your chances of actually getting to Y1 increase, WILDLY, if you just behave yourself.
• If you do hang up on me, DO NOT be surprised when...not if...when I call you back.  I'm just that twisted...and I love me some caller ID!
• I will exercise my right, as Y1's mother, to ask LOTS of questions about this opportunity to "hang out" that you've extended to him.  Where you live...will your parents be there...are other friends going to be there...what time should I pick him up...can we bring a snack to share...these are all vital bits of information I need in order to grant permission.  All you have to do is be polite and patient and just answer my questions. 
• Y1's safety and well being are of utmost importance.  I don't know you from Adam's house cat...don't know your family.  I can allow for benefit of the doubt and believe that you are a lovely young lady who comes from a good home.  But that's where it ends.
• If your parents aren't going to be there....don't EVEN bother asking. You probably think that's lame...I really don't care.  I do care enough about you...without ever seeing your face...to protect you and my son from your hormonally impaired selves.
• Your behavior on the phone didn't make a stellar first impression.  Maybe it was nerves.  Maybe you're really not old enough to be using the phone. 
• And this is the kicker....when Y1 found out that you hung up on me, HE wasn't impressed.  He loves me....and he gives me a hard time...but he doesn't take kindly to people being rude to his mama.

I tried to get Y1 to call Colby...he says he doesn't know a girl named Colby.  Colby sounded female...maybe Colby's one of the boys and his voice hasn't started changing yet.  Oops...my bad.  Either way, Y1 had no interest in returning Colby's call.  He was irritated when he found out that she hung up on me....and really tickled when he found out I called her back.  Hmmmm....maybe we're doing something right?