Yesterday was all about remembering and I'll just be frank with you, I got to the point where I just wanted to scream. All week there were stories leading up to the culmination of yesterday's various and sundry commemorations and memorial services. Don't get me wrong...we should pause to remember the events of September 11, 2001 but what we shouldn't do is assume that anyone could forget. Just exactly how does one go about forgetting evil acts of such magnitude? Precisely how does one erase the memories of where you were and what you were doing when you heard the first news report....when you saw the first picture? Forgive me...I don't need any help remembering because I haven't forgotten and I would venture to say that few of us have...few of us could.
Minus ten years....my boyos were little...Y1 was three and Y2 was exactly one month old. I was still trying to figure out how to be everything that the both needed at such different stages of their lives. At the end of that day, I seriously wondered if Mr. Snark and I were delusional to have brought these two innocent lambs into a world that seemed to have been momentarily consumed by evil! I mean...really....if folks could hijack commercial airliners and do what they did with those four planes...it seemed as if humanity had sunk to an all time low....lower than any other point in history and that's saying a lot! I remember Y1 asking why the angry men did what they did...and I had no answer for him. Not because I couldn't figure out how to simplify the explanation...but because my mind couldn't go there...I've never experienced such a level of malevolence and hatred for another human being, another group of people. I had no explanation for my child because it was incomprehensible.
Today....the boyos are not so little...13 and 10....and I'm still trying to figure out who they need me to be. And I still wonder if Mr. Snark and I were insane for thinking that we could well-raise a couple of kiddos! Seriously, the gravity of this is no small thing. Here we are, two perfectly flawed individuals attempting to guide two other perfectly flawed individuals through the obstacle course that is life. They see us at our worst and they see us at our best and sometimes, our best falls well short of the mark. Hopefully, though, they realize that we're always trying to do the right thing and they will take that to heart. My little brother is The Sand Box...for his 2nd deployment....fighting a ten year old war, that despite what you might think goes back beyond ten years....back to the Crusades...back to Father Abraham and his first born son Ishmael...described as a "wild donkey of a man." Big lesson in the story of Ishmael's conception and birth...if Sarah, Abraham's wife, had just been patient and let God fulfill the promise that He'd made to her husband, all would have been well. Centuries of grief and conflict could have been avoided...but nooooooooooooooooo! She had to go and meddle...she had to go and assume that she knew better than God Almighty...she gave Abraham permission to "take unto himself" her maid, Hagar....if you know what I mean. So, he did...and they (Abe and Hagar) did and there you go! So, the next time you think you've got things handled and you're tempted to act ahead of God's leading...think about that!
Plus ten years....I"ll be fifty!!!! Law-dee!!!! Gives me palpitations just thinking about it. Y1 will be a college graduate and Y2 not far from it. Or I guess they will....Lord willing. I pray the world is a happier place...I pray that things are more secure and that we've learned some lessons between now and then. I pray that our nation will turn back to the things we know to be right and good and decent and honorable. I pray that I am wiser for all my experiences and that every day of my life is lived as the precious gift that it is....that the people around me know that I love them...that I truly love them. I pray that God uses me as a vehicle for His glory...that when people look at me, they see Jesus.
And big hair, a la 1988, being back in style wouldn't be a bad thing either.
Minus ten years....my boyos were little...Y1 was three and Y2 was exactly one month old. I was still trying to figure out how to be everything that the both needed at such different stages of their lives. At the end of that day, I seriously wondered if Mr. Snark and I were delusional to have brought these two innocent lambs into a world that seemed to have been momentarily consumed by evil! I mean...really....if folks could hijack commercial airliners and do what they did with those four planes...it seemed as if humanity had sunk to an all time low....lower than any other point in history and that's saying a lot! I remember Y1 asking why the angry men did what they did...and I had no answer for him. Not because I couldn't figure out how to simplify the explanation...but because my mind couldn't go there...I've never experienced such a level of malevolence and hatred for another human being, another group of people. I had no explanation for my child because it was incomprehensible.
Today....the boyos are not so little...13 and 10....and I'm still trying to figure out who they need me to be. And I still wonder if Mr. Snark and I were insane for thinking that we could well-raise a couple of kiddos! Seriously, the gravity of this is no small thing. Here we are, two perfectly flawed individuals attempting to guide two other perfectly flawed individuals through the obstacle course that is life. They see us at our worst and they see us at our best and sometimes, our best falls well short of the mark. Hopefully, though, they realize that we're always trying to do the right thing and they will take that to heart. My little brother is The Sand Box...for his 2nd deployment....fighting a ten year old war, that despite what you might think goes back beyond ten years....back to the Crusades...back to Father Abraham and his first born son Ishmael...described as a "wild donkey of a man." Big lesson in the story of Ishmael's conception and birth...if Sarah, Abraham's wife, had just been patient and let God fulfill the promise that He'd made to her husband, all would have been well. Centuries of grief and conflict could have been avoided...but nooooooooooooooooo! She had to go and meddle...she had to go and assume that she knew better than God Almighty...she gave Abraham permission to "take unto himself" her maid, Hagar....if you know what I mean. So, he did...and they (Abe and Hagar) did and there you go! So, the next time you think you've got things handled and you're tempted to act ahead of God's leading...think about that!
Plus ten years....I"ll be fifty!!!! Law-dee!!!! Gives me palpitations just thinking about it. Y1 will be a college graduate and Y2 not far from it. Or I guess they will....Lord willing. I pray the world is a happier place...I pray that things are more secure and that we've learned some lessons between now and then. I pray that our nation will turn back to the things we know to be right and good and decent and honorable. I pray that I am wiser for all my experiences and that every day of my life is lived as the precious gift that it is....that the people around me know that I love them...that I truly love them. I pray that God uses me as a vehicle for His glory...that when people look at me, they see Jesus.
And big hair, a la 1988, being back in style wouldn't be a bad thing either.
Oh, please don't bring back the 80's hair! Here's hoping Jesus makes His appearance sooner than that! :)
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