Just ASK

Did you know that prom proposals are all the rage with the young folks these days?  Do not be confused...I did not mean to say "marriage proposals."  These elaborate and creative undertakings are called "prom proposals."  Apparently, just ASKING one's desired escort in a FACE TO FACE conversation is tres passe!  I understand going to great and creative lengths for a marriage proposal, but these extreme prom invitations are ridiculous!  Seriously...guys are just shooting themselves in their collective foot.  Start simple and work your way up.  Use the hot air balloon for the prom invite and you're going to need the Space Shuttle for the marriage!  I'm just saying...but young James Tate, from Shelton CT, might be inclined to agree that a simple conversation could have saved him a great deal of trouble.

Just this week, under cover of night, James Tate and two of his friends slipped onto school grounds and erected his prom proposal to one Miss Sonali Rodrigues. (I know it's said /Rod-ree-gez/ but every time I see that name I see Les Nesman...remember the wacky news reporter from"WKRP"?  In one episode, he was reading a sports report and refered to pro golfer ChiChi Rodriguez as /Ch-eye Ch-eye Rod-ri-gweeze/!  He also talked about someones /ch-who-ah-who-ah/ dog, too...SNORT! )  Chasin' rabbits, sorry...back to the blog!  The letters were made of white poster board and he used double-sided tape to attach them to the front exterior wall of Shelton High School.

"Sonali Rodrigues will you go to prom with me?  HMU -Tate"

The HMU, for those of you not down with the lingo is short hand for "hit me up."  I guess that means "holla back" or "call me", you reckon?  Beth Smith, headmaster of Shelton High, did not find the gesture to be as romantic, creative or sick (that's a good thing) as did many of Mr. Tate's fellow students.  She rewarded his efforts with a one-day ISS (in school suspension)and because this particular disciplinary action falls within the final weeks of school, he is also barred from attending prom.  People across the country have jumped on this story like Baptists on fried chicken!  Most of them siding with our poor hero and they're saying things like, "Boys will be boys!", "He's just a kid!", "It wasn't spray paint!", "He meant no harm!", "The punishment is too harsh!", "BUT IT'S PROM!".  You want to know what I think?  You know you do...don't be coy.  The headmaster is right and Mr. Tate is wrong.

Are you shocked by that, my dears?  Were some of you actually thinking that I would side with young Mr. Tate?  It's me, remember...the one who regularly shouts "HOORAY FOR MEAN!"  Headmaster Smith isn't being mean, she's holding an errant student ACCOUNTABLE for his actions.  This blog required a little research.  Yes, I actually know how to research....close yo' jaws!  So, here we go!

• According to the Shelton High School Student Handbook, which I found online at the district website, "actions prohibited by Federal and/or State law" are considered actions "leading to Disciplinary Action, including removal from class, suspension and/or expulsion" (p. 35, #37).   Trespassing is defined, by the Shelton School District as "unauthorized entrance or aiding the unauthorized entrance into a school facility" (p.34, #13).  No, Mr. Tate and his friends did not enter any of the buildings as part of their little caper.  However, most schools have posted warnings that define trespassing as being on campus, unsupervised after normal school hours.  I've seen it at our local schools and I remember seeing such signs when I was a student.  He and his friends were trespassing...which, in most states is considered illegal and thereby can be deemed a prohibitive action that will lead to disciplinary measures.
• "Acting in a manner that creates health and or safety violations for staff students...regardless of whether the conduct is a joke" (p. 35, #34).  No, Mr. Tate did not erect a scaffolding unit to post his letters twenty feet off the ground.  He and his friends did not repel down from the roof.  They used an ordinary household ladder, one of them spotted the ladder and Mr. Tate even wore a helmet while on the ladder!  They seem to have thought of everything...except the unthinkable...those factors that just happen...those factors that are unexpected.  To illustrate my point, let me tell you about my little friend Angel*.  Angel was coming down the stairs in her home last weekend.  She got to the third stair from the landing and fell...not a tremendously long way to fall as such things go.  Angel is in a cast for the next 10-12 weeks because she shattered her ankle...it's broken in three different places AND she broke her leg where it meets the ankle!  Three steps from the landing.  I'm sure that if her mama had any forethought of such a thing happening she would have installed an air bag at the bottom of the stairs to cushion Angel's fall.  But she couldn't...because it wasn't something that she could predict.  Any small thing could have happened, while Mr. Tate was on the ladder, to have put him and his friends in harm's way. 
• Section V, page 26 of the handbook speaks to "Procedures Governing Suspension."  Item #13 says, "During the period of suspension, the student shall not be permitted on school property and shall not be permitted to attend and/or participate in any school sponsored activities unless the principal authorizes."  Because Mr. Tate's suspension falls within the last thirty days of school, he is thereby excluded ("denial of school privileges to a student because of disciplinary reasons", p.33) from prom.  I remember the same kind of policy when I was a student.  Some would say it's an extra turn of the screw but it serves a purpose...it's to make these children THINK before acting.  Novel idea, I know...but NECESSARY. 

Mr. Tate's idea was sweet and simple...in light of all the crazy things he could have done.  His intentions were good and he meant no harm.  But the minute that he and his friends crossed onto school property, his proverbial goose was cooked.  Perhaps, if he had gotten the headmaster's permission to use the front wall as his billboard...perhaps he could have gotten permission and the wall space INSIDE the building...he could have gotten permission from The Rodrigues parentals to post the signs in the front yard of their home...there are a thousand other ways to do what he did and do it without breaking the rules..without breaking the law.  But he didn't and he DID break the rules and he DID break the law.  Are the rules and laws there for our protection or are they there to be bent, reshaped and then broken?  As far as stunts go, what Mr. Tate did is just a blip on the radar screen and if this is the worst trouble he gets into for the rest of his life, well, then...he's a good egg. 

Riddle me this....if we don't hold our kids...the future of our country....responsible for even minor infractions...how are they ever going to learn?  I feel badly for Mr. Tate, I really do but I'm standing with Headmaster Smith.  Not many will...not many do. Mr. Tate made a poor decision and needs to "man-up" and face the consequences.  He's got a great story to tell his grandkids and I'll bet he might have a different opinion about the power of just ASKING.