(First things first.  I have no legitimate excuse for the seven months of silence.  I'll spare us all the indignity of an apology that is likely to ring every bit of insincere.  I have missed our conversations...as one sided as they might be.  The lack of inactivity pains me.  Well, perhaps it doesn't pain me too terribly or I wouldn't have gone seven months without posting!  Anyway, I have missed you and I hope that this will, in some small way, make up for my absence.)

Toward the end of last year, everyone at my clinic was asked to do a personality assessment.  Director-Lady wanted to see how we all matched up to our roles.  I LOVE personality quizzes.  In high school, I did every quiz in every issue of every teeny-bopper magazine I ever bought.  Did the ones in the bridal magazines, too.  With the advent of the Inter-webs and F*cebook, I have done several more.  My favorite one was about matching me with my celebrity husband.  I'll not drop names, but the algorithms of this quiz matched me with a certain prince who was "West Philadelphia born and raised."  SO FUN!  Director Lady's chosen assessment was much more cerebral and had nothing to do with celebrity matchmaking.

Let me stop right here and preface that I have always been a people person.  Never really been bashful.  Never really had trouble talking to people.  Never have I ever been accused of being a shrinking violet.  I am an extrovert and that's what the results of this assessment showed...but in a way that just knocked the wind out of me.  The results were put into a bar graph and that bar graph had four columns...each representing major segments of human behavior.  One of those bars completely dwarfed the other three.  No joke.  As in the quantity that was assigned to the bar representing my extroversion was eighteen.  I think the max was twenty!  The three remaining bars?  One was a three and the other two were twos.  Almost as if those other three segments of my personality barely exist...nearly suffocated by the insanely extroverted side of me.  And by side, I mean like the broad side of a barn! (To the polar opposite, Mr. Snark took a similar assessment and his personality traits were put into a pie chart.  He said that the section depicting his extroverted tendencies looked like the thinnest slice of the pie...leaving him to wonder how many questions he managed to answer incorrectly to get even that much?!) 

To see a number attached to what I've always known to be my dominant trait was rattling to me.  I got pretty obsessed with it.  It consumed my thoughts.  For a few minutes (and by that I mean days...which really means a couple of weeks), it was all I could think about.  I became very uncomfortable with myself and pretty unsure of myself.  To be honest, I started praying for God to change me...but not the way that He wanted to change me, but the way I wanted Him to change me.

Anyone else see anything wrong with that?

HE made me this way.  Nothing in my personality was left to chance.  Nothing was an accident.  Nothing was random.  All by design, with intention and purpose.  All of it to get me through this thing called life.  And in case it has slipped your notice, this thing called life is NOT for the faint of heart.  There's nothing wrong with praying for the rough edges to be smoothed (ever aware that the smoothing and refining processes are often painful).  There's nothing wrong with praying to be more like Jesus in word and deed (again...often a painful process). There's nothing wrong with praying for strengths and talents to be used as a blessing to those around me and that in blessing those around me I would bring glory to His name.  But to tell The Almighty that He made a mistake with my put together...well, that's a bit much.  It's a bit backwards for the created to correct The Creator.  To that end, I suppose there's also nothing wrong with praying to be comfortable with how He made me.  (Funny thing, I wasn't REALLY uncomfortable until after I saw those test results!)

Maybe I will achieve more balance in the segments of my personality as I get older.  Balance is a good thing.  A wise friend has said as much.  A little mellowing couldn't hurt.  I'm not sure how much more outgoing I could get!  Or if it would even be legal!