Hi...my name's Michelle and I have "Foot-In-Mouth" disease. Maybe it's a disorder...maybe it's a syndrome...maybe a dysfunction? Maaaaaybe it's a syndromic dysfunctional disorder! Call it what you want...I have it. Always have had and probably always will. Thankfully, I'm not alone in my "suffering." Everyone goes through this. Although, I do find it hard to imagine someone like The Duchess of Cambridge (Princess Kate) letting things fly out of her mouth and then wishing the earth would swallow her whole. But, I'm sure she does...she's human...sorry, still can't picture it. Time and age have helped the occurrences to be less frequent than in my younger days. There is comfort in that, but the sting remains.
Case in point: met a sweet friend for lunch, yesterday. Her oldest daughter died last May. She was only twenty. Drugs. Quite tragic but no surprise because she'd been on a destructive path for quite a few years. My friend is practical to the ground...which is probably one of the reasons I love her so. As much as she loves her daughter, she's brutally honest about her death being the natural consequence of a LONG series of bad choices. All morning, I'd been thinking about my friend...her husband, their son and their youngest daughter...and the one who died. I was wondering how they are processing things...they got through the first holidays and the first birthdays without her. The one year mark is just around the corner. I wondered if the death of that beautiful, promising, intelligent young woman made any kind of impact on those in her most immediate circle? Did her dying scare any of them back to the "straight and narrow?" I'm going to lay this less than stellar conversational moment on the fact that her death was SO heavy on my thoughts.
It was a good time with my friend, despite my INCREDIBLE blunder. How I managed to eat my shrimp tacos with my foot in my mouth, I'll never know!
Case in point: met a sweet friend for lunch, yesterday. Her oldest daughter died last May. She was only twenty. Drugs. Quite tragic but no surprise because she'd been on a destructive path for quite a few years. My friend is practical to the ground...which is probably one of the reasons I love her so. As much as she loves her daughter, she's brutally honest about her death being the natural consequence of a LONG series of bad choices. All morning, I'd been thinking about my friend...her husband, their son and their youngest daughter...and the one who died. I was wondering how they are processing things...they got through the first holidays and the first birthdays without her. The one year mark is just around the corner. I wondered if the death of that beautiful, promising, intelligent young woman made any kind of impact on those in her most immediate circle? Did her dying scare any of them back to the "straight and narrow?" I'm going to lay this less than stellar conversational moment on the fact that her death was SO heavy on my thoughts.
Me, upon seeing my friend: "Oh, it's so good to see you!!! How's Husband? How's Son? How's Your Dead Daughter?"
My Friend: "Honey, you mean Second Daughter...you know Oldest Daughter died."
Me, internal monologue on FULL TILT BOOGIE: "NOW, sweet Jesus! NOW would be the perfect time for You to return! AAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Me, externally....napkin to face, cowering in shame and disbelief at my own incredible insensitivity and near to tears: "OF COURSE! I KNOW THAT! BBBBLLLLAAAAHHHH!!! I'M SUCH A MORON! SHE'S BEEN ON MY MIND ALL MORNING. I TOTALLY MEANT SECOND DAUGHTER!"
My Friend, laughing: "Uncover your face this minute and don't you dare cry! You were thinking about my child and that's precious to me. To answer your question, she's fine! I know where she is...she's not cold, she's not hungry and she's sitting in a beautiful box on my dresser. She's more contained, now, than she was the last several years of her life! "
Me, still lurking behind my napkin: "I just wanna crawl away!!!!!"
My Friend: "Nothing doing...we've got queso dip and guacamole and I'm not eating it all by myself."
It was a good time with my friend, despite my INCREDIBLE blunder. How I managed to eat my shrimp tacos with my foot in my mouth, I'll never know!
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