Mother of a Controversy

There should be nothing controversial about motherhood.  Loving and nurturing and raising a child is no small thing.  We all have different approaches to raising our kids.  I don't guess one is any better than the other.  We go into it hoping and praying that we make the best decisions for our kids, so they will turn out well.  By that, I mean that they are loving, caring, compassionate, kind, generous, thoughtful, hard working, joyful individuals.  What works for one family probably won't work for the next.  We all have to find our own paths and along the journey, reach out to the ones we see struggling along the way.  Evidently, Time Magazine doesn't share my opinion.  That's okay.  They are entitled to disagree with me; they are also entitled to be wrong.  You won't see a link posted here, as we try to keep thing family friendly around The Chronicles, but go look for the latest issue, take a gander at the cover and come back and we'll talk.  Ok, I'll talk, you'll read...but you know what I mean.

Time Magazine's cover wasn't about this method of child rearing that emphasizes and celebrates the physical bond between parent and child.  I don't agree with or understand all of the principles of this particular method but it is a choice.  That cover was about selling magazines...making money...and that's it.  The title..."Are You Mom Enough?"  hacks me off to no end.  So if I don't agree with long term nursing and wouldn't pose for a cover of a magazine with my preschooler attached to my chest, I'm not a REAL mom?  That's what it implies and I resent that.  Being a real mom or being "mom enough" has nothing to do with this cover.  Let me tell you about what being "mom enough" REALLY is...

• KC and her husband have been struggling, for several years, to have a child.  It hasn't happened yet.  Her desire for "baby love" is so strong that she has recently become involved in a local crisis pregnancy ministry and is loving on the young women who come in needing help.  She and her husband love children so much that they are part of our middle school ministry at church.  And as the parent of a middle schooler, I am telling you, that is REAL love!
• RN and her husband had fertility issues several years ago.  They finally decided that they would just be the best aunt and uncle to their nieces and nephews.  An opportunity arose for them to become the foster parents to a little boy...of another race...with significant special needs.  They welcomed that child into their home, adopted him and then went on to be blessed with two biological children.
• SB, a Canadian friend of mine...she and her hubby lost a pregnancy some years into their marriage.  There was never another pregnancy for them, but they are house parents at a residential deaf school and provide love and care to so many children who live on campus and are away from family for long periods of time.
• KH and her husband are the adoptive parents to a set of siblings.  They got Brother, first, and before he was a year old, they were contacted about adopting, again...same mother.  Sister was born very prematurely and as a result of her early arrival, she is blind.  That child is amazing and can see more than most of us with fully functional vision.  Her parents have learned so much from her and because of her, have gotten involved with the local visually impaired community.  Their work with this community has been so instrumental in providing Braille Bible stories and Braille hymnals for different individuals.
• CJ married a man twenty-three years her senior; a widower with children very close to her own age.  She knew there was no way she'd ever replace their mother...she had no notion or the slightest desire to do so.  She had the luxury of being their friend and the relationships she shares with her "bonus" kids are beyond special.  She's also a great mothering influence to the "girls" I run with at church.  CJ's BARELY old enough to be my mom...she'd have had to start scandalously early...but she is so wise and so glad to share her life experiences with us.  And we're all so happy to just sit at her feet and lap it up!
• Remember my friend who adopted the Ugandan children last summer?  Well, she and her husband are in the process of trying to bring two more little girls to the US for medical care that they so desperately need.  AR spends her days trying to find out what more she can do for the thousands of Ugandan children who need so much...but more than anything just need the love of a mother.  The process of adopting her Ugandan darlings wasn't easy...their transition to life in the US has had it's moments, but at the end of the day, she realizes this isn't about her...it's about them.
• My friend AM was bitten by the adoption bug several years ago.  They have their oldest child, who is their biological son...but they've also adopted four other children...two from China, one from Thailand and one from Taiwan.  I think she's decided their quiver is full, but she still has such a heart for the orphaned and does what she can help.
• RD was a college classmate of mine.  She and her husband became pregnant...with triplets...after a few rounds of fertility interventions.  It was a struggle.  The pregnancy was not easy for RD.  At one point, the doctors determined that one of the three embryos was not developing like the other two...they told RD that the underdeveloped one might pose a risk to the other two, as well as to her own health.  They suggested a selective reduction...which held the same risks as just waiting to see what happened.  So they waited...and at 28 weeks gestational, those triplets were delivered.  Tiny and fragile but full of life.  They are thirteen, now...and just a testimony to how REAL their mom is.
• My friend LS....she is the mother to a little boy with special needs at the profound level.  She can probably count the full nights of sleep she's had, since his birth four years ago, on both of her hands.  She might have to employ a toe or two, but they've been that scarce.  His hospital stays are frequent.  His health is fragile.  The medical bills are insane!  They know the ER crews at their Children's Hospital by name and have their favorites.  He has seen more doctors in his short four years than most of us will see in eighty!  She lives everyday with the realization that the next round of pneumonia might be his last.  But she keeps going.  She keeps praying.  She keeps fighting.  She keeps celebrating his victories...no matter how small or inconsequential they may seem to the rest of us.  She keeps loving.

So...Time Magazine...is that mom enough FOR YOU??????????????????