Life is just bizarre...full of inexplicable absurdities and situations that define all logic and reasoning. Sometimes, the absurdities are funny...sometimes, not so much. The ins and outs of this crazy thing called life are prone to induce roller coaster effects on our emotions. Some feel the ups, downs, twists and turns more acutely..MEMEMEMEME...others have a more unflappable nature that makes the journey a little less dramatic. Whatever the case, each of us have inborn coping mechanisms that aid us along the way. One of my strongest tools is my inner monologue. (Put down that phone! Do not call Mr. Snark and tell him it's time to have me fitted with a jacket that has wrap around sleeves! Seriously, he has other things to worry about...and in any case, after nearly 20 years of Matrimonial Bliss, don't you think he'd be the FIRST to know when it's time to make that call?) You know...an inner monologue...the inner voice that helps process information into digestable bits, defines the steps needed to take to complete a task. It's this inner voice that also internally verbalizes things that I would NEVER say out loud. OK...sometimes, the innner monologue becomes an outer monologue and those are the moments when I pray for rewind button or some memory erasing flash or for the ground to open up and swallow me! Where you and I might part company is at the point where I named this voice (Step away from the phone!). It's all in good fun...I haven't gone compeletly around the bend, just yet.
Her name is Julia...after Julia Sugarbaker. Anyone remember the 80's sitcom, "Designing Women"? The lead character was Julia Sugarbaker and brilliantly played by the late Dixie Carter. The other characters in the show often referred to Julia as "The Terminator"...only, she used words instead of high-tech weaponry. Most days, she was the quintessential Southern lady...poised, classy, graceful, fearless, intelligent, sassy, eloquent, charming. Rile her, provoke her, well...she'd make you wish you hadn't. For example...
Most of the time, my Julia voice stays happily inside my head. Come against my family, friends or my children and you'll meet her. Live your life in a careless, irresponsible manner and expect ME to clean up the mess you leave behind, Julia will come a-calling. Behave like a bully, tyrant or overgrown spoiled brat (and I'm here to tell you that a bratty adult is FAR worse than a bratty child) and you and Julia will have a "come to Jesus" meeting. My tolerance for such things is becoming smaller and smaller as I get older. I do try to give the benefit of the doubt, but I won't be played for a fool. I don't like that feeling...when my kindess and good will are abused.
Perhaps this is nothing more than the age old struggle of flesh vs. spirit. Maybe it would be more correct to call Julia my "flesh" voice. The voice that is heard when I'm not as full of God's goodness as I should be. I know I probably done a fairly good job of convincing you that I've lost it. I promise you that I haven't. (Let's talk after getting through raising two teen age boyos...we may have to reassess!) It's a little bit of good natured and self inflicted teasing. My mouth..what comes out of it...has ALWAYS been my biggest flaw...my Achilles' Heel. All the way back to elementary school...notes proclaiming "Michelle talks too much" were often sent home from school. So, when the Ys get these kind of comments from their teachers, I'm not surprised in the least.
Giving a name to this particular side of my personality (not to be confused with an actual SPLIT personality)really does help me keep a lid on it. My Julia-voice is honest...bare bones, blunt, to the point, brass tacks, nitty gritty. There's not always love to temper what's being said. All truth should be spoken in love...from a place of concern and caring. It's hard to be honest and loving at the same time...REALLY hard. Especially when you're having to speak truth into a situation where the truth isn't welcome; is unwanted; is feared. Believe it or not, I get a little timid in this kind of situation. I know, me? Timid? You're shocked...but it's true! Timid or not, there are moments when it just HAS to be said...and sometimes, it's Julia who says it!
To close...just to give you comfort regarding my sanity...
Her name is Julia...after Julia Sugarbaker. Anyone remember the 80's sitcom, "Designing Women"? The lead character was Julia Sugarbaker and brilliantly played by the late Dixie Carter. The other characters in the show often referred to Julia as "The Terminator"...only, she used words instead of high-tech weaponry. Most days, she was the quintessential Southern lady...poised, classy, graceful, fearless, intelligent, sassy, eloquent, charming. Rile her, provoke her, well...she'd make you wish you hadn't. For example...
Most of the time, my Julia voice stays happily inside my head. Come against my family, friends or my children and you'll meet her. Live your life in a careless, irresponsible manner and expect ME to clean up the mess you leave behind, Julia will come a-calling. Behave like a bully, tyrant or overgrown spoiled brat (and I'm here to tell you that a bratty adult is FAR worse than a bratty child) and you and Julia will have a "come to Jesus" meeting. My tolerance for such things is becoming smaller and smaller as I get older. I do try to give the benefit of the doubt, but I won't be played for a fool. I don't like that feeling...when my kindess and good will are abused.
Perhaps this is nothing more than the age old struggle of flesh vs. spirit. Maybe it would be more correct to call Julia my "flesh" voice. The voice that is heard when I'm not as full of God's goodness as I should be. I know I probably done a fairly good job of convincing you that I've lost it. I promise you that I haven't. (Let's talk after getting through raising two teen age boyos...we may have to reassess!) It's a little bit of good natured and self inflicted teasing. My mouth..what comes out of it...has ALWAYS been my biggest flaw...my Achilles' Heel. All the way back to elementary school...notes proclaiming "Michelle talks too much" were often sent home from school. So, when the Ys get these kind of comments from their teachers, I'm not surprised in the least.
Giving a name to this particular side of my personality (not to be confused with an actual SPLIT personality)really does help me keep a lid on it. My Julia-voice is honest...bare bones, blunt, to the point, brass tacks, nitty gritty. There's not always love to temper what's being said. All truth should be spoken in love...from a place of concern and caring. It's hard to be honest and loving at the same time...REALLY hard. Especially when you're having to speak truth into a situation where the truth isn't welcome; is unwanted; is feared. Believe it or not, I get a little timid in this kind of situation. I know, me? Timid? You're shocked...but it's true! Timid or not, there are moments when it just HAS to be said...and sometimes, it's Julia who says it!
To close...just to give you comfort regarding my sanity...
This brightened my day!!~ :) :) Love Annie Potts' (MaryJo's) expression as Julia ends that last monologue...!!~ Too FuNNy!!!~~ (*Did you know that Annie Potts is the voice of Bo Peep in the Toy Story movies...? I'd never put that together until I looked her up on imdb.com today...~) :)
ReplyDeleteHope you're feeling MuCh better!!! :) :)
Tiffany~
Psalm 68:19