We all make mistakes. Granted, some of us make more than others, but none of us are immune to failures and failings. Some of them are small and quiet....some are flagrant and obnoxious. Some will just fade from memory. Others are played back in moments when we find ourselves in similar situations or when we leave our minds/hearts unguarded. It's a tool that The Devil likes to use to shake our confidence and stray our focus. Sometimes the memories of our past pitfalls come up by themselves...sometimes, these pitfalls are waved in front of us by the ones we took down with us when we fell. And those, ladies and gentlemen, are the ones that hurt me the worst.
I'm pretty transparent about who I am. I've gotten more and more comfortable with who I am as the years pass. I will be the first one to tell you that I am loud and intrusive...I am a know-it-all...I am a busy body...I have control freak tendencies...I can be snippy and snarky...I can be judgemental...I can be snobbish and harsh. I have had moments in my life that cause me GREAT embarrassment to recall them. Some of them made out of the foolishness of youth...some made with well meaning intentions...some made out of pure anger or hurt. There's a lesson...when you are hurting, don't try to make the one who hurt you feel as badly as you do....it ALWAYS backfires. Always! Instead....when you're the one who's been hurt, be the first one to offer forgiveness. And when you're the one doing the hurting...forgive yourself and then ask for forgiveness. Doesn't matter if it's asked of you...doesn't matter if it's accepted from you. It's really about making peace within yourself. Then....leave it where it lies.
Forgiveness goes a LOOOOONG way in getting through a hurtful situation. Forgiving and moving forward...WITHOUT looking back...without dragging the bones of past wrongs with you. Here's the deal...if you're trying to move forward and hanging onto those bones from the past, you never really do move forward. No forward progress, no growth...only leads in one direction...stagnation. We all know folks who are stagnated....and they are SAD, SAD shells of people. And nothing inside the shells is good. Bitterness and resentment and unforgiveness are emotional poison, dear people. The saddest thing is that the ones who are poisoning themselves are clueless about the self inflicted damage. Time passes and it's often too late when the realization comes.
I guess the tip I'm trying to share is this....live your life in such a way that you accept responsibility for what you say and what you do. When you hurt someone, make sincere apologies and rightful restitution. When you are the one who is hurt, forgive...even if your attacker doesn't ask...forgive and go on. Leave the past where it belongs.
I'm pretty transparent about who I am. I've gotten more and more comfortable with who I am as the years pass. I will be the first one to tell you that I am loud and intrusive...I am a know-it-all...I am a busy body...I have control freak tendencies...I can be snippy and snarky...I can be judgemental...I can be snobbish and harsh. I have had moments in my life that cause me GREAT embarrassment to recall them. Some of them made out of the foolishness of youth...some made with well meaning intentions...some made out of pure anger or hurt. There's a lesson...when you are hurting, don't try to make the one who hurt you feel as badly as you do....it ALWAYS backfires. Always! Instead....when you're the one who's been hurt, be the first one to offer forgiveness. And when you're the one doing the hurting...forgive yourself and then ask for forgiveness. Doesn't matter if it's asked of you...doesn't matter if it's accepted from you. It's really about making peace within yourself. Then....leave it where it lies.
Forgiveness goes a LOOOOONG way in getting through a hurtful situation. Forgiving and moving forward...WITHOUT looking back...without dragging the bones of past wrongs with you. Here's the deal...if you're trying to move forward and hanging onto those bones from the past, you never really do move forward. No forward progress, no growth...only leads in one direction...stagnation. We all know folks who are stagnated....and they are SAD, SAD shells of people. And nothing inside the shells is good. Bitterness and resentment and unforgiveness are emotional poison, dear people. The saddest thing is that the ones who are poisoning themselves are clueless about the self inflicted damage. Time passes and it's often too late when the realization comes.
I guess the tip I'm trying to share is this....live your life in such a way that you accept responsibility for what you say and what you do. When you hurt someone, make sincere apologies and rightful restitution. When you are the one who is hurt, forgive...even if your attacker doesn't ask...forgive and go on. Leave the past where it belongs.
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